Count Your Blessings

In general I am a pretty happy person. But when I get stressed, I grumble. I’m sure my husband would (politely) attest to that fact. It's something I'm working on. But in the last few weeks, God has really been whispering to me and reminding me to stop, slow down, and take notice of all my blessings. It started the other day when I was pulling out of the driveway on my way to work, grumbling because I was tired and wanted to stay home with my baby. Then I looked up and saw all the beautiful fall colors. It seemed like overnight my neighborhood had exploded in amazing reds, oranges, and yellows…God’s palette for my favorite season and a reminder of his presence.

And I have done a lot of grumbling about the difficulties of a new baby…being tired, the feedings at midnight…and 2:00...and 4:00. But the other night, as I was rocking him, I realized that this was IT. This was the time I had been waiting for, the blessing we had prayed for, and I needed to savor every moment.

Then there is Thanksgiving Day, which is at my house this year. At first I was grumbling about all the things I HAD to do….the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking. Then God gently reminded me “Jeannie, look what you GET to do!” I get to shop for food and prepare it for my family. I get to spend quality time with those that I love. My house will not be perfectly clean or perfectly decorated. The food will be good, but not fancy. But my family will be together, happy and fed, and that is all that matters.

This is what I’m most thankful for this year:
 

Trading Up

When I started this blog, I knew I would have trouble keeping up with it. I’ve tried to keep a diary/journal/blog since I was in middle school (around the time I read The Diary of Anne Frank) and have had trouble with the follow-through each time. Usually it’s because I forget or don’t take the time, even though I think writing things down is so very important. But this time it’s because I was having trouble putting into words this very special time in my life.  How do you begin to sum up all the emotions and thoughts that surround having a baby and starting your family?! Well, there is the good - Eli’s smile and watching Kyle be a Daddy, the bad - several very sleepless nights, and the ugly - perhaps a bit of post-partum depression trying to sneak around. I wrote this in my paper journal around the time he was two months old:

Being a new mom means:

• Getting all your sleep in the form of short naps
• Not being completely sure when you last took a shower
• Wondering if you can actually die from exhaustion
• Leaving your own birthday party early to go feed the baby
• Being completely sure of your real hair color
• Learning to do everything in 2 hour time blocks
• Not having any clean clothes because everything you own has spit up on it
• Forgetting all these “problems” when he looks into your eyes and smiles

Now Eli is almost five months old, and it isn’t as desperate sounding as all of that. There are more smiles, cuddles and giggles. When he was first born people used to ask, “Can you even remember your life without him?” and I would think…yes. I remember sleeping as late as I wanted on the weekends. I remember being able to leave the house without having to plan around someone’s feeding schedule. I remember the possibility of a vacation without any responsibilities. But now I understand what they meant. I do remember our lives before Elijah. Kyle and I had a lot of fun being just the two of us. But I wouldn’t go back to that for a million dollars. As Kyle put it, we have definitely “traded up”.